SadisticDream's Brain-Dead Ramblings...

[WhiteCrowUK]

So confused.

Doesn't anyone ever miss that whole "first love" thing from the first person you dated? That infatuation and puppy love? You trusted them with your entire heart, you never suspected they would break it. And when they did, you were upset. You were so hurt. Never again can you trust like you used to. You can try though. But it's just never the same as it was the first time. It never will be.

I still suffer bad cases of puppy love - it's probably a male infatuation thing. We're slow learners.

[Sadistic Dream]

So confused.

Doesn't anyone ever miss that whole "first love" thing from the first person you dated? That infatuation and puppy love? You trusted them with your entire heart, you never suspected they would break it. And when they did, you were upset. You were so hurt. Never again can you trust like you used to. You can try though. But it's just never the same as it was the first time. It never will be.

I still suffer bad cases of puppy love - it's probably a male infatuation thing. We're slow learners.

I think I have learned so well I'm afraid of falling in love or anything like that.

[Sadistic Dream]

Don't

Step back
Too close, too soon
You're invading my space,
Trapping me!

I can't breathe,
A trouble you can't even conceive of,
No, I don't want true love

I don't think it's cute,
Those pre-packed, mass produced phrases
No, I'm not going through phases

I know it's isn't your fault
I'm sorry I made you suffer
But I can't stay here
Times are getting tougher

Don't say that,
I've heard it before
Maybe I'm crazy
But they all walk out the door

[Sadistic Dream]

Heart in throat
Tongue in cheek
Hold your breath
You're in too deep

Over react
You can't sleep
Try to retract
Not allowed to weep

Calm down
Wipe away the frown
Don't look down
You'll surely drown

_______________
Rejection sucks.
Even when you know you're over reacting...

[Sadistic Dream]

Disgusted

You're changed,
Slowly,
You're rearranged.

Surely we are no longer the same
Bitter and cold,
Blood dries on the floor
Battles are old
Deaths untold

This isn't what I wanted
Not how this should end
I've turned my back on my friend

...Is this the end?

I fear so.

[Sadistic Dream]

Not Real

Talk is cheap
Rewards you can't reap

I'm free now
Free to just be
You can't do anything to fuck with me

Go die, you say?
You don't effect me
Not even in a single, small way

You used to upset me
Depress me and stress me

Now you're not here
You're out of my life
I'm done with the strife

A slut, you say?
No fucking way
Don't you know how I got this way?

Take him and leave
Twist him around your finger
Manipulate him all you want
I'm not someone you can haunt

I forgot you and your gaunt, hungry eyes
You're mine to taunt now

How does it feel?
When you're not real anymore to me?
How's it going to be when I forget you,
Easily forgotten soul?

You're not even whole

____________________________

Climbing

For so long I've lived here
This deep, dark hole of misery
I struggled to dig deeper
I tried to hide

Today I found the courage
I learned to confide

So I have begun to climb,
And here you are on the side
I push you away,
I'm not willing to hide anymore

Today I began climbing
You're not at my side

And everything is...

Fine.

_____________________

Two poems about people I'm happy to have out of my life!
And I'm feeling much better after the doctor put me on medication for my depression and PTSD. Life is good. I'm in college now and things are looking great. Boyfriend? Pfft. I don't need some man to stand behind and have him fight my battles. I do so love being single and being nobody's pet anymore. I sure hope he never comes back, I need to declare my independence right this instant...or maybe next week. I better go hit the books. ;______; Dear college: You are evil.

[Sadistic Dream]

Words fall on deaf ears
Muted by concrete
Like so many footsteps

Listen
I beg and plead
I cry and bleed

You're deaf
Unfeeling
Just like me

_____________________
Where do I start?
My little sister is a moron, wanting to meet some guy she met online. She won't let me tag along to make sure she's okay.
Now I just get to sit at home and worry, don't I? I can't even get upset about this, I'll pass out. Where the hell do I go from here? No where easy.

[Sadistic Dream]

Hello Fascination

Come back
Turn around
Step past me,
Break me down

Build me up
Not a sound
Bring me down

Build, break, tear
Come back around
Sit and stare

Solve puzzle
That isn't there

Why bother?
This is too much to bear.

Stay away.
I'm tired of this game.

___________________________
Build me up just to break me down, you always do. Come back like you always will, don't you?
Go away this time and don't come back.